Please post your self-referential piece in a comment to this post.
The beginning of the paragraph starts with a beginning sentence notifying it’s a beginning sentence and this very sentence is the beginning sentence. The sentence follwed by it starts a story that will end in only three sentences. There was a cricket named Adam, who was written in a sentence that was written by a teenaged girl. Adam’s brain was so tiny that he was so stupid and he didn’t even know he was being mocked when he read a sentence that was mocking him. The story ended with a sentence that also ended a whole paragraph.
Hey, let me introduce myself:(by the way, I dislike colons since it marks two ugly blemishes on my countenance… and also, I mean, three ugly dots on the bottom? Seriously…) I’m written primarily in the English alphabet, formed through the structure of American English grammer. My being is quite ugly, I agree–with all the interrupting horizontal lines and dots, of course. Oh, and my creator’s hand was too busy to consider forming me in a more beautiful way. The tails of my y’s and g’s spill all over the notebook line, and how embarrassing is that. I wish I was born as a set of letters printed beautifully on snow-white paper, those Times New Romans consisted of minuscule ink particles. It’s better than layers of carbon graphite, I’m sure. Thankfully, as you can see I’m only 19 lines, and I guess my creator was too busy under pressure of finishing me during class to consider filling the whole page. It’s sad how I end like this.
Mine’s an image, so I uploaded it to a hosting site–
The following paragraph is 100% self-referential—it deals only with the existence of the paragraph itself, not with some made up stories or traces of my mental breakdown.
This is the beginning of the paragraph. In other words, it is the first sentence of the paragraph (although it in fact became the second sentence already). This is neither the first sentence of the paragraph nor the second sentence; it is the third sentence of the paragraph. This is not the first sentence or the second sentence or the third sentence; it is the fourth sentence of this paragraph. The sentences of this paragraph get longer and longer (although this sentence is the second-shortest so far). This sentence is not the first, second, third, fourth—even not the fifth—of the paragraph; it is the sixth sentence. This is the seventh sentence. Now this is the second-last sentence of this paragraph. This is the end.
This is not the last sentence of the paragraph—but an additional sentence for a sincere apology—SORRY for this crap.
Tjis is the first sentence of this paragraph. This is the second paragraph of this paragraph. This is the third sentence of this paragraph. This is the fourth sentence in this paragraph. You might be curious whether I’m gonna keep on doing this or not so I will give you my answer in the next sentence. Oh, I forgot to say this in the previous sentence, this is the fifth sentence in this paragraph, and I want to say that this is the sixth sentence in this paragraph and since this sentence is a bit too long I will give you my answer for the question you might want to know in the fifth sentence which I didn’t imply it was the fifth sentence. Okay…I admit it that the previous sentence was a bit long…so I want to say that I’m sorry and that this is the seventh sentence. This paragraph was supposed to introduce a theme which will be carried out through the following paragraphs, if my stupid writer’s brain could even make one, but my writer is just stupid that he forgot to write it and he is too lazy to erase the previous parts and fix them; this is the eighth sentence. Oh, I forgot to give you the answer but before that I want to say that this is the ninth sentence and that this is the last sentence in this paragraph …well, I think I gave you my answer through this paragraph, yes I will, and this paragraph eventually ends as a paragraph just trying to tease you reader.
This is the first sentence of the paragraph. This is one of the few sentences in the paragraph. There are 27 sentences in this paragraph, although a paragraph is usually 5 sentences long. This is the fourth sentence of the paragraph. There was a dog named Brownie, who will be claimed once again on the seventh sentence of the paragraph. The previous sentence is consisted of 6 words. This paragraph is supposed to introduce about a dog named Brownie. This is the eighth sentence of the paragraph. There were eight sentences so far in this paragraph. Now there are nine. Oh wait, there are ten. The number of sentence is increasing every time I end a sentence. This is a story about a dog named Brownie. This used to be a story about Brownie. The word “Brownie” was used 3 times in this paragraph so far. Now, there are four. This is a horrible paragraph. My sister’s boyfriend is using my ondisk account to download expensive movies. The previous sentence was totally irrelevant. I do not feel sorry though. 21. I put in this number because I almost lost count of how many sentences I used. This is almost the last sentence of the paragraph. However, this is not the last sentence of the paragraph. This sentence was intended to be the last sentence of the paragraph. But I just feel not to. Ha.
I have no idea why this sentence has started. The Author only knows why I am making a scratch on a smooth sheet of paper…with a very dark tip of something.
I am too scared to be shown to the others. I feel really awkward and inappropriate.
Damn it! I just heard that I will be kept hidden until someone marks my skin with a red sharp tip.
No No NO!! That day is today?
I am gaining weight weight WEIGHT!! OOH~ Let me see why my body tattoos are not pretty enough! Oh gosh!!
To my author:
Please make my tattoo and body line to become one of the most beautiful ones.
There seems to be no change.
And look at this place! It’s quite brilliant. Oh! I see my friends who I cannot talk to 😦 Sorry! You guys are dead already. And I am changing the color. Uh~~ I don’t know the person who is tickling at the far right corner. Can you make it more colorful? I want to change!
How much do I need to say like this?
Hello~? Anybody there?
Why is it so dark here? Please? Can somebody take me out of this darkness? Wait, let’s see.
I see my friends all packed up together. Wait, is it like a storage or something?
* Epilogue: This paragraph was carefully written on the Microsoft Word doc., and sadly the paragraph has to stay with other paragraphs in the author’s bookshelf for the rest of her life. Thank you.
There is neither first sentence nor last sentence in this paragraph; the very last word that the author intended to convey and emphasize can be located in the first sentence or in the middle of the paragraph; in addition, when the sentences are all integrated but not separated, then the whole paragraph becomes one sentence; there only exists the first word and the last word; there are not the first sentence and the last sentence in this paragraph because there is no order in here; this paragraph was not written from the very first sentence what you see at first in this paragraph; what is the barrier among sentences; that was the first sentence, actually; but, more precisely, the sentence that was actually first sentence is no more the first sentence because the very first sentence was erased; moreover, there is no conclusion or concluding sentence in this paragraph because it does not have the period and will continue,
(Duh… I don’t know what I’m saying..)
My paragraph would like to give you advice on how to give advice to others and by doing so will become a self-referential paragraph. Therefore, in the first sentence it should have been implied that I will be using my own tips that I give in my own paragraph. First, this sentence will inform you that you should use transitions like “First, Second, and Third” just to sound like you know what you are talking about when giving advice even though you have no idea what you are blabbering about—like this sentence and the next one and the next one. Second, one should quote random philosophers to sound intelligent in front of others even though the quote may have been made on the spot because no one really notices anyways especially if the philosopher has a Chinese name because all Chinese names sound the same. A wise philosopher named Laozi used to say “When giving advice, make sure to quote others.” Third, this sentence would like to emphasize that after giving advice, you should encourage the other person that it is not hard to achieve what they would like to do and that everything will be alright. It is not hard to give advice to others and everything will be alright. Success.
I can’t believe I’m writing this sentence. Or tje second sentence. In fact, I can’t believe I’m writing this paragraph at all. It’s so tiring to lift this mechanical pencil and scribble these words on this piece of paper. How longer do I have to write things like this? When will this ever stop? Every time I write another sentence, I think of the sentence I’ll have to write after it. Here’s the sentence. Here’s the future. Another sentence becomes the present. There’s going to be a lot more presents, won’t there be? I don’t know when I’ll have to stop writing these sentences. I don’t know how mich longer I’ll have to lift pencils like this one, and scribble on pieces of paper like this. But I know one thing for sure. This paragraph ends here.
Writing is hard. So I write only short sentences. When I start writing in long sentences, it gets real easy to mess up with grammar. Especially, the use of “and” always confuses me and. So I put it and anywhere I want. I don’t care if I don’t underst and its use. I just love the feeling of a pen in my h and; it is really sweet like a c and dy, so I write. It’s boring, I know. Also I hate periods and commas I would rather use a word than a period end What’s good for a comma? Break or rest? I guess breast for a comma breast I will combine them end Sorry for all the nonsense end I know it is well beyond what you can comprehend.
This is the first sentence of the paragraph and works as an introduction of the story. This is another sentence that works as an introduction since the first sentence isn’t enough for a nice hook, and this sentence supports it. At this point, author uses this meaningless sentence (in terms of meaning) to smoothly connect the introduction with the main paragraph. Using this sentence, author brought up his first point: writing self-referential essay is essentially meaningless. He accepts the irony that he himself is delivering this point using the form that he criticizes. Whatever. Important thing is content, not form. This sentence is for author’s self-justification; author claims that this form of conveying the idea actually emphasizes the meaninglessness of self-referential writing by making the reader confused with his points. Right after finishing the previous sentence, even the author gets perplexed with his own words. Then, he stops writing.
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